The Beautiful Life

4:42 AM

4:42 AM

I never knew that this would change everything.

swollen and overdue, pain coming on…fear and excitement…this is it, it’s time.
after all of the heartache of losing one, can it be true that we are actually going to have a baby?
years and months and days of waiting, of preparing.
eager to meet this child of mine who has been kicking and moving…living inside this young wife.
but so unprepared to face the agony of birth.
sweat and blood, fear and pain. hope and disappointment. frustration and impatience. indescribable anguish…then relief.
almost too tired to care after something so intense, so raw, yet I am drawn to touch this new one. my own one.
downy soft hair, still damp. purple-pink skin so wrinkled. puffy eyes a mirror of my own.
a gift.
all of the pain of that moment, all that is yet to come…all of the joy at seeing this one thrive and grow, learning to love and be in this broken world. all of the uncertainty, all of the hoping and fearing and praying and trusting…
I wouldn’t trade any of it.
it’s all a gift.
every tear, every smile, every let down. every whispered secret, every kiss goodnight, every moment.
my life changed that day, and I will never be the same.

Credits:
Clockwork by Linda Gil Billdal at SA
Heartstrings by HGD by Laurie Ann at SA
Live Laugh Love by Createwings Designs at Oscraps
Handstamped Alpha by Michelle Coleman at LDD
Worn Frame by Danielle at Catscrap
Tutti Fruity by Emily Powers & Paislee Press at WST (retired)
Urania Czech Font
CK Ali’s Hand Font